Uma queda eterna

You fall. You fall and you wonder. You wonder if it will ever stop. Maybe you will fall forever, endlessly screaming in silence, waiting for someone to reach out a hand for you to hold. But no one ever came, no one will ever come. You realize this is your fate, falling forever and never being able to help yourself. I guess I'm not gonna change at least not now, not before I die. But if I'm doomed to this I should consider keep on living. Is it a good choice? Actually, way more appropriate than asking 'bout "considering" something would be speaking of possibilities. So, is it possible to keep on living?
Disappearing would be a good way out of this situation. A good way out of myself. In fact, the problem is who I am, who I've created inside of this body. This fucking confused, crazy, unstable and not realiable creature that lives inside this matter. The matter will disappear and will then take away these scars. I don't want them anymore. I don't wanna face myself in the mirror anymore. It only increases the pain, it only hurts more and more and I can find no cure for my disease. Day by day, I live but I'm not happy. I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask for existing. That was not my choice. So why am I forced to bear a choice that wasn't mine in first place?
It's a difficult decision but I swear to God I see no other solutions. I don't have any strenght left to rise up and keep fighting. And I just can't find it anywhere though I've searched for a whole life.
I'm just so lost. There's no light waiting for me in the end of this huge, scaring tunnel. There's only darkness, fear and sorrow. It's a cycle which I can't follow anymore.